Science Funnies 2013

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Science Funnies 2013

Post by Admin on Sun Sep 15, 2013 4:30 am

2013 2013 2013 <span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/comedy/news/a-comic-walks-into-a-particle-accelerator-lab-cern-laboratory-hosts-standup-night-as-scientists-test-comedy-routines-8788375.html">Who says scientists don't have a sense of humor?</a></b></span><br /><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>"It is rather unfair to assume that there is anything improbable about science overlapping with humour. Popular&nbsp;</i></b></span><b style="font-size: x-large;"><i>TV and radio shows such as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Big_Bang_Theory">The Big Bang Theory</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Infinite_Monkey_Cage">Infinite Monkey Cage</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Museum_of_Curiosity">Museum of Curiosity</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dara_%C3%93_Briain:_School_of_Hard_Sums">Dara O’Briain’s School Of Hard</a> Sums happily marry science with jokes. And, as Brian Cox, the scientist and presenter of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wonders_of_the_Universe">Wonders of the Universe</a>, points out, comedians such as O’Briain and Ben Miller are physics graduates. “There is a strange nexus between physics and comedy that I seem to be a part of,” Cox told the Daily Telegraph. “It’s a powerful if strange alliance.&nbsp;</i></b><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>Dara O’Briain did mathematics and physics, and is passionate about it. Ben Miller did a PhD in physics. Robin Ince [his co-presenter on Infinite Monkey Cage] is a very good friend of mine.” </i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></span> <span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Here are some for you to chortle or groan over:</b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i> A Higgs boson walks into a bar and asks everyone to take part in an act of penitence. “What are you doing?” asks the barman. “Giving mass.” </i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s OK now.</i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span> <span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies: “No, I’m travelling light.”</i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing? Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.&nbsp;</i></b></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>A TCP packet walks into a bar, and says to the barman: “Hello, I’d like a beer.” The barman replies: “Hello, you’d like a beer?” “Yes,” replies the TCP packet, “I’d like a beer.”</i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>Pavlov is enjoying a pint in the pub. The phone rings. He jumps up and shouts: “Hell, I forgot to feed the dog!”</i></b></span><br /> <span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0Wg8F6ZHG0w/UiIONvKwzLI/AAAAAAAAGUU/M_RxVqVVLt8/s1600/SchrodengersCat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0Wg8F6ZHG0w/UiIONvKwzLI/AAAAAAAAGUU/M_RxVqVVLt8/s400/SchrodengersCat.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /> </i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who know binary, and those who don’t.</i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /> </i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>When I heard that oxygen and magnesium hooked up I was like OMg!</i></b></span><br /><br /> <span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>The barman says: “We don’t serve faster-than-light particles here.” A tachyon enters a bar.</i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>Two atoms are walking down the street. One says to the other, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!” The other says, “Are you sure?” “Yes, I’m positive!” </i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>What do you call two crows on a branch? Attempted murder.</i></b></span><br /> <span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mLAmG20N51k/UiINtW6L5RI/AAAAAAAAGUI/WtYloCax9E0/s1600/FerrousWheel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="255" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mLAmG20N51k/UiINtW6L5RI/AAAAAAAAGUI/WtYloCax9E0/s400/FerrousWheel.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br />An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The bartender says: “What’ll it be, boys?” The first mathematician: “I’ll have one half of a beer.” The second mathematician: “I’ll have one quarter of a beer.” The third mathematician: “I’ll have one eight of a beer.” The fourth mathematician: “I’ll have one sixteenth of a…” The bartender interrupts: “Know your limits, boys” as he pours out a single beer. </i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>Never trust an atom. They make up everything.</i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /> A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says: “Five beers, please.”&nbsp;</i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread. </i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>A student travelling on a train looks up and sees Einstein sitting next to him. Excited, he asks: “Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?”</i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6VdrsVIc6qw/UiINZ-8OZhI/AAAAAAAAGUA/2n9K24fKwV4/s1600/This+Post.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="125" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6VdrsVIc6qw/UiINZ-8OZhI/AAAAAAAAGUA/2n9K24fKwV4/s400/This+Post.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><br> 2013 2013 2013 <br><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/comedy/news/a-comic-walks-into-a-particle-accelerator-lab-cern-laboratory-hosts-standup-night-as-scientists-test-comedy-routines-8788375.html">Who says scientists don't have a sense of humor?</a></b></span><br /><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>"It is rather unfair to assume that there is anything improbable about science overlapping with humour. Popular&nbsp;</i></b></span><b style="font-size: x-large;"><i>TV and radio shows such as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Big_Bang_Theory">The Big Bang Theory</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Infinite_Monkey_Cage">Infinite Monkey Cage</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Museum_of_Curiosity">Museum of Curiosity</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dara_%C3%93_Briain:_School_of_Hard_Sums">Dara O’Briain’s School Of Hard</a> Sums happily marry science with jokes. And, as Brian Cox, the scientist and presenter of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wonders_of_the_Universe">Wonders of the Universe</a>, points out, comedians such as O’Briain and Ben Miller are physics graduates. “There is a strange nexus between physics and comedy that I seem to be a part of,” Cox told the Daily Telegraph. “It’s a powerful if strange alliance.&nbsp;</i></b><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>Dara O’Briain did mathematics and physics, and is passionate about it. Ben Miller did a PhD in physics. Robin Ince [his co-presenter on Infinite Monkey Cage] is a very good friend of mine.” </i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></span> <span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Here are some for you to chortle or groan over:</b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i> A Higgs boson walks into a bar and asks everyone to take part in an act of penitence. “What are you doing?” asks the barman. “Giving mass.” </i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s OK now.</i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span> <span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies: “No, I’m travelling light.”</i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing? Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.&nbsp;</i></b></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>A TCP packet walks into a bar, and says to the barman: “Hello, I’d like a beer.” The barman replies: “Hello, you’d like a beer?” “Yes,” replies the TCP packet, “I’d like a beer.”</i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>Pavlov is enjoying a pint in the pub. The phone rings. He jumps up and shouts: “Hell, I forgot to feed the dog!”</i></b></span><br /> <span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0Wg8F6ZHG0w/UiIONvKwzLI/AAAAAAAAGUU/M_RxVqVVLt8/s1600/SchrodengersCat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0Wg8F6ZHG0w/UiIONvKwzLI/AAAAAAAAGUU/M_RxVqVVLt8/s400/SchrodengersCat.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /> </i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who know binary, and those who don’t.</i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /> </i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>When I heard that oxygen and magnesium hooked up I was like OMg!</i></b></span><br /><br /> <span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>The barman says: “We don’t serve faster-than-light particles here.” A tachyon enters a bar.</i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>Two atoms are walking down the street. One says to the other, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!” The other says, “Are you sure?” “Yes, I’m positive!” </i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>What do you call two crows on a branch? Attempted murder.</i></b></span><br /> <span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mLAmG20N51k/UiINtW6L5RI/AAAAAAAAGUI/WtYloCax9E0/s1600/FerrousWheel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="255" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mLAmG20N51k/UiINtW6L5RI/AAAAAAAAGUI/WtYloCax9E0/s400/FerrousWheel.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br />An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The bartender says: “What’ll it be, boys?” The first mathematician: “I’ll have one half of a beer.” The second mathematician: “I’ll have one quarter of a beer.” The third mathematician: “I’ll have one eight of a beer.” The fourth mathematician: “I’ll have one sixteenth of a…” The bartender interrupts: “Know your limits, boys” as he pours out a single beer. </i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>Never trust an atom. They make up everything.</i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /> A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says: “Five beers, please.”&nbsp;</i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread. </i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>A student travelling on a train looks up and sees Einstein sitting next to him. Excited, he asks: “Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?”</i></b></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6VdrsVIc6qw/UiINZ-8OZhI/AAAAAAAAGUA/2n9K24fKwV4/s1600/This+Post.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="125" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6VdrsVIc6qw/UiINZ-8OZhI/AAAAAAAAGUA/2n9K24fKwV4/s400/This+Post.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><br>2013 2013 2013 <br> <a href="http://www.matrixar.com/" title="Matrix ">المصفوفة : أجمل الخلفيات والصور</a>

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